Caregivers
You don’t have to give up how much you care for others. The intention here is to help you keep showing up for others in a way that also includes you, feels more supported, and is less depleting over time.
You might be here because...
You may be someone who has learned to be there for others—reliable, attentive, and often the one people turn to when something needs to be held, solved, or supported.
On the outside, you might look steady and capable. You’re someone who follows through, notices what needs doing, and steps in without being asked. But internally, there can be a quieter experience of carrying a lot—emotionally, practically, and often without much space to pause and take in how much you’re holding.
Over time, you may have learned to prioritize others almost automatically—checking in, anticipating needs, and making sure things run smoothly—even when you’re tired, stretched, or in need of support yourself. Rest may feel unfamiliar, and when it does come, it can bring guilt, restlessness, or the sense that something still needs your attention.
In relationships, there can be a strong pull toward being the one who holds things together. You may find yourself attuning closely to others’ needs, moods, or stress, sometimes before your own needs are fully clear to you.
Even when things are going well, it may be hard to fully settle. There can be a sense of responsibility that stays active in the background—watching, noticing, preparing, or making sure others are okay.
And alongside all of this, there is often a deeper longing—not to stop caring for others—but to find a way of caring that doesn’t require you to disappear in the process, and that allows you to feel more supported, resourced, and present in your own life as well.
What makes my approach different?
Many of the caregivers I work with share that past therapy hasn’t always felt fully supportive—they’ve left feeling like something about their experience didn’t quite fit, or like the focus on “self-care,” boundaries, or doing less didn’t fully reach what was actually happening in their day-to-day lived experience.
You may be someone who is naturally attuned to others—quick to notice what someone needs, able to step in without being asked, and often the person others rely on for support, stability, or care. Because of this, it can sometimes feel like you’re encouraged to simply “focus on yourself more” or “set better boundaries,” even when the deeper patterns of responsibility, emotional awareness, and care for others remain very active.
As a therapist, I hold a deep respect for the ways care, responsibility, and attunement shape your experience. You don’t need to justify how much you do for others in order for your experience to matter here. If it feels difficult to turn toward yourself, if there is guilt in resting, or if you are used to prioritizing others automatically, that is something we can gently work with—not against.
While many therapeutic approaches can be helpful, strategies that focus on simply stepping back, doing less, or enforcing boundaries without understanding what drives your care often don’t fully land for caregivers who are deeply embedded in relational awareness and responsibility.
With Internal Family Systems, we take a different approach. Rather than trying to override or reduce your caregiving patterns, we slow things down enough to understand them. We begin to notice the parts of you that step in, anticipate needs, hold responsibility, and stay alert to others’ wellbeing—and the parts that may feel tired, unseen, or far away from your own needs.
A key part of this work is gently bringing you back into the equation—learning what it feels like to include yourself alongside others, rather than after them or instead of them. From there, change becomes less about efforting or forcing new behaviours, and more about reconnection, awareness, and choice.
Over time, this allows for a different kind of relationship with yourself—one that honours your capacity to care for others, while also making space for your own needs, limits, and inner experience to be part of the picture too.
